My partner is trans

My partner/family member is transgender: what now?

This page is intended for significant others (family members, close friends and partners) of trans people.

Transition (social, medical or legal) can be an emotionally challenging time for a trans person, and we particularly value the support of our partners and family members during this time. However, it can also be exhausting or difficult for those close to us. Remember that you can’t look after someone else unless you look after yourself first. The University Counselling Service ( can provide individual or group support should you need it.

It can also be really helpful to talk to other people out there who have had similar experiences. There are many peer-support resources available online for significant others of trans people, some of which are listed below:


Depend: a UK-based support group for the families of transsexual people. Has subdivided closed lists.

FTMSOs: An active support group for significant others at the masculine end of the spectrum.

A LiveJournal Community for the partners of transpeople

COLAGE: A US-based organization for the children of gay lesbian and transgender people


UK based organisation aimed at helping couples through the transitioning:

The following book (available in the UL) contains the intimate stories of many trans relationships: Tracie O’Keefe & Katrina Fox (eds), Trans People in Love (Routledge, 2008).

If you’d like to talk to the Trans Rep, I’m here to lend an ear and I can be contacted at the following address: